Painful/Helpful

The man sitting in front of me is now barely visible. I repeat: "I can't, I can't ..." Pathetic, really (retrospectively). Curious how painful the experience is. There I am, squirming and writhing in that big leather chair, not knowing how to stop the pain, not being able to locate the exit. I mumble: "How much time is left?...", looking at my watch, but he says "No, no" and demands an answer. I can't, I can't. He doesn't touch me, doesn't move from his chair, but it is as if I could feel the weight of his hand on me pushing and pushing me, crushing me. Giant hand holding me pinned to the chair, terrorized. He finally lets go, and I feel out of breath, dizzy. The pain stops, but I am about to pass out, slightly sick. Black butterflies in front of my eyes. I don't know how to regain countenance. That was so hard.
He says: "Another fun session!" This is the end, I get up, I have a hard time finding my bearings. I leave, saying "Thank you", not knowing where to go from there. Until next week?

The only thing he asked me was to take charge. I couldn't.
I couldn't.